Home Improvements...Stage 1

My house is a shambles. We are having new windows put in and new siding put on and new paint on the new siding. My husband's old best friend is doing the work. Back in the day, Hubster and Old Best Friend went to Dekalb Tech together and learned all about computers, hardware and software. Over the years they both got technology burnout. Hubster went into business for himself as a locksmith and Old Best Friend went into the home repair business.

The first thing O.B.F. told me on the first day of 'Home Improvement' was 'when I start a project it starts out being a job, then I come across a problem, and it turns into a bigger job, and that in turn unearths another problem and that becomes an even bigger job, etc., etc., etc.,'. Well on day #2 he found problem #1. The old windows in our house are not standard size. The choices were a) delay Home Improvement by a month or more waiting for special order of customized windows to arrive, or b) cut existing window holes larger to accomodate standard sized windows. We went with choice b. That means now I have ragged window holes with no trim around them, no window treatments, drywall dust on everything, and sweaty men going in and out of the house at different times of the day. (Luckily though, I have known O.B.F. for almost as long as I have known Hubster, and O.B.F. 's two workers are guys he has known since high school - they really are VERY nice guys!)

On the 3rd day of Home Improvements, O.B.F. told me to make sure when me and Courage go to the bathroom or shower that we make sure the blinds are drawn because he and his helpers will be on ladders at any given time and they do not know our bathroom schedules. That made me wonder if someone had already been viewed sitting on the throne on days 1 and 2.

On day 2 when the window holes were being sawed out, I cautioned O.B.F. and his helpers that my cats are strictly indoor cats and that rooms with gaping holes should have the doors leading into those rooms shut at all times and doors leading outside should be shut at all times. On day 3, I noticed the front door standing open. A search of the house found one, Blacky, huddling under the bed in the spare room (as to be expected of her, she is a true Scaredy Cat!) and no sign of Lex. After scolding the workers I searched the yard and finally gave up. One sweaty worker suggested he was hiding inside - - - afraid of all the hammering. I assured him that hammering would not scare a big, bad, bold, mountain lion-like cat, like Lex. I figured he was gone for good.

After quite a bit of time had passed I walked by the sofa into the dining area and glanced behind the sofa. Two big glowing eyes looked up at me from behind the dark recess of the couch. Lex! It took me another 15 minutes to pull the couch away from the wall and drag him out by the scruff. He was scared stiff! His heart was racing and he was really stiff! I took him upstairs and gathered Blacky and locked them in the bathroom up there (which they absolutely hate and pee on the rug and stuff in retaliation!). Now any time the workers are going in and out of the house I lock them up. I forget sometimes that people who don't have indoor-only cats don't realize the importance of keeping doors shut.

This was actually week #2 of Home Improvement. A large portion of siding has been removed and replaced. All of my front porch adornments have been tossed onto the hedges like some useless junk! How dare they! I refuse to dust anymore until this project is finished. I am tired of having to park my car in Bum-doozle Egypt in order avoid being trapped in the yard by the work trucks. (Isn't funny how when you are trapped you can think of a million places you need to go or want to go!) There is a huge blue dumpster sitting in my front yard. I am tired of hammering and drilling and sawing and big piles of messes in the yard, but I know it will be worth it when it is all over with.

One worker pulled away a board near the eves of the roof and the biggest wasp nest you ever did see was under there. It was an overcast day and the wasps didn't swarm out all angry, but instead just flew around rather drunkenly. I did thank God that he wasn't stung! If he had fell off the ladder he would have either landed on the concrete driveway (about a 10-12 feet fall) or onto the basketball goal post. Ouch! We have an umbrella policy on the house, but I don't want to test the reliablity and payoff of our home insurance!